Misunderstandings..

First I'd like to apologise to someone, even though it might not mean anything to you, for making you feel so sad and all. Sorry for making you feel used and everything.

I guess I care too much or I care in the wrong way... When is it that there are things you may ask and there are things that you shouldn't?

There seems to be so many things in my life that I'm DYING for an answer to but everytime I get close it just seems that I'm repelled from them. Is it so made that I am NEVER to know these answers? Why am I not allowed to find out answers to things that involve me?

Oh there are so many answers to questions that I want to ask. I hate feeling incomplete and having big fat gaping voids in my life. Because these things will forever haunt me and they will always be there.

Things like... Why did my father have to leave? Why did I have to get blammed for certain things? Why am I prevented from knowing things that involve me? Why do I have to keep getting misunderstood and why do I keep misunderstanding others as well? There are so many more questions...

Why is it that I'm always trying to care about everything and too much? Why am I trying to care for things out of my control for? I REALLY REALLY REALLY HATE it when people say "WHO CARES"... I guess I've grown up thinking that the world's a selfish place and everyone just cares about their own matters. I admit I'm selfish at times and a lot of the times I don't even realise it.

But I'm sick of seeing everyone only caring for their own matters. I'm sick of seeing the world not caring about everything around them. Why am I always trying to totally open myself to others. Why can't everyone else do the same? Why does everyone seem to be SOOO protective of themselves? Why can't everyone accept everyone? The world would be such a better place...

Am I just stupid or too innocent? I really hate myself sometimes... I guess I care too much about everything, even the things I'm not in control of. Maybe I should turn into one of those "Who cares" people and live in my world of Me, Myself and I.

I guess I should be learning to let go of these questions. But 我唔甘心. 我好唔甘心.

I really hate having to keep falling into pits because I didn't know that they were there. I hate asking people the wrong questions when I didn't know what has happened.

What a sad event it has been... and to add to my car accident today...

Wow, I guess the 6/6/06 was really a bad date...